Wonders if its possible to be so scarred by the past that you are oblivious to the present and numb to the future?

Silence is Golden

Most of your words are unnecessary. All too often you speak simply to fill the space with sound, because you feel too uncomfortable with the silence. But this silence is golden. Only in silence you can hear God speak to you. Only in silence can a real prayer, a heart prayer be born. Next time you start chatter...ing, stop and feel into the silence, feel its shape, its texture, and then slowly and silently say only what really has to be said.

Color Quiz Results!

Your Existing Situation
Needs excitement and constant stimulation. Willingly participates in activities that are thrilling and offer adventure.

Your Stress Sources
"Wishes for freedom and independence, free from limitations and restrictions except for the ones she choices to give himself."

Your Restrained Characteristics

"Feels she is getting less than she deserves for all her hard work; however, she makes no effort to change things and tries to make the best of the situation."

Has strong emotional demands and is picky when it comes to choosing a partner. she chooses to remain emotionally distant and uninvolved in relationships.

Current situations force her into compromise and placing her own hopes and desires on hold for the time being.

"Is emotionally demanding, especially during intimate moments, which leaves her feeling frustrated because she is unable to find a perfect union."


Your Desired Objective
"Is very intense person who seeks excitement and sexual stimulation. Wants others to see her as an exciting and interesting person, who is also charming and can easily influence others. Uses her charm to increase her chances of success and gain other people's trust."

Your Actual Problem
"Fights resistance or limitations, and insists she is free to develop in her own way. Rewarded by accomplishing things on her own, with little to no help from others."

Reflections

I can say that I have had in interesting summer... The fist half was confusing, depressing, and what I would formally like to consider a complete waste of time!

However, things have really picked up for the last half... I have surrounded myself with the company of some great people and really made some wonderful memories. I have grown as a woman and really feel like I am figuring some things out.

As amazing as the last few months have been... I look forward to the future knowing that the shadows of my past are increasingly showing a lighter shade of gray :)

Rejoice

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cat...tle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior" (Habakkuk 3:17-18,
NIV)





I was feeling a little down today and ran across this scripture that gave me a little bit of encouragement. Although I am not a perfect
Christian, I strive to do the best that i can. I know i make mistakes, however have never realized how great my faith is. I can go to God in prayer WHENEVER I feel the need. There is no woman or man on earth that I can say that about. No
relationship I have ever been apart of that is so powerful. My God truly speaks in actions and brings to light the saying "Actions speak louder than words."



In the last few years, I have been through so much and know there are great things destined for me. I just have to put forth the effort and never give up on the wonderful life I have been granted. God is good... however he has also given us free will. Good things come to those who wait, however waiting aimlessly produces no results.



In closing. I am thankful for my hard times because the make me stronger. I rejoice in the Lord when things just don't seem like they can get better.... for I know that the someday will. 



~KP

Don't Quit

When things go wrong,

As they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile,

But you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit

Rest if you must,

But Don't You Quit!



Life is strange with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up through the pace seems slow

You may succeed with another blow.



Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup

And he learned too late when the night came down

How close he was to the golden crown.



Success is failure turned inside out

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit

It's when things seem the worst

That You Mustn't Quit!

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me

Black as a pit from pole to pole

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeoning of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate.

I am the captain of my soul.

Salvation

Salvation is not just for the chosen people, or the best people, or good people. Salvation is for the sinners, and for those afraid and those persecuted. Salvation is for those afflicted and those crippled and those troubled in their minds. Salvation is for the liar and the adulterer, for the blasphemer. Salvation is for who ever is athirst and will take the water freely."




Robert Morgan - Gap Creek

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."


A Return to Love

by Marianne Williamson

Be Patient With Me.

At any given moment

of any given day

There are SO many things I worry
about

And so many things I must
complete

Be Patient with me while I am
learning to live

Learning to love

Loving to Live

Embracing my faults…

There must be a level of
commitment

style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Sometimes it is hard to maintain

Be Patient with me while I am
learning to live

I am making my self a better
woman.

I strive to be a valuable asset to

Everyone in my life

Be patient with me as I am learning
to live

I think about my future and what it
entails

I wonder how the pieces will fit
together.

Be patient with me as I am learning
to live

As I struggle to determine my
destiny, I realize how great I will be.

Just be patient with me as I am
learning to live

 

 

~ 2/24/2008

Dream About Me

My lustrous smile and

Designer influenced style…

Dream about me

 

The twinkle in my eye and

Roundness of my thighs….

Dream about me

 

The complexity of my mind and

Ohhh how I'm so kind….

Dream about me

 

The way I love you down and

Sweeten up your frown….

Dream about me

 

Soul dripped into your meals

Kisses from your forehead to your
heels….

Dream about me

 

My sexy lingerie

After a long and intense
day….

Dream about me

 

The way I rub your back and

Keep your love on track….

Dream about me

LOVE and DEATH

People say that LOVE and DEATH are the two common and universal human journeys. There is a difference though, LOVE is more POWERFUL and lasts longer. A body is taken only ONCE but LOVE can be given a thousand times. Ask how someone died, the answer is FINITE, ask how they LOVED the answer is INFINITE. --Jeffrey Seaver

Love

My all time favorite... This is the blueprint and a tru foundation to build
up from with your family, friends, and lovers!

Love

1 If I speak
in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding
gong or a clanging cymbal.

2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can
fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move
mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

3 If I give all I possess to
the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.


4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it
is not proud.

5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are
prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

9 For we know in part and
we prophesy in part,

10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect
disappears.

11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like
a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways
behind me.

12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we
shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I
am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But
the greatest of these is love.


~First Corinthians 13.

Personal Reflections

Personal Reflections.... me and my girls would have a good time discussing topics via email to pass the time at work!




Here are a couple of my favorites!
~~~~~~
What do you
relish without restraint? When you feel guilty about
pleasure, whose voice do
you hear in your head? How could you allow
yourself to enjoy more of life
guilt-free?


I relish the time i get to spend with family and CLOSE
friends... quality times filled with lots of laughs, memorble events, and NO
DRAMA! As well as the good talks we get to have when we are too busy too get
together! When I feel guilty about a pleasures that i KNOW im not supposed to
indulge in (lust and drinking and actin a fool) I definately hear my own voice
tellin my self "u know this aint right." Even more so, being a christian i hear
religous influence and it makes me feel SUPER gulity about encourageing those
things!!! If its something as simple as a piece of cake, i hear myself sayin
"maybe friut will be better for my sweet tooth!" Living as guilt free as
possible is defantely encouraged by living more "christ like" as well as living
a spiritually, mentally, and socially healthy and fulfilling
lifestyle!!!
~~~~~

"I gave myself up so completely to present desires
and pleasures that I
had no energy to waste on mere wishful thinking."
--Simone de Beauvoir


I see it as meaning, i surrendered SO MUCH into
my wants and needs (relationships we want, goals we have, lust we have, etc)
That the thoughts of them no longer put a sparkle in my eye :( Because i was so
engulfed in those immediate things, I had no energy to think about even better
rewards that I could aim for.

I can defenately apply that! working so
hard to get some immediate needs out of the way, when it comes time to think
about the future i get LOST at times and it frustrates 1) to see how much
further i have to go, and 2) that the things i am doing are controlling my mind
and my time not giving me time to thing about the bright side nor getting the
opp to think about things I WANT!!!!!

Does Love Exist???

I believe that love exist, however its infatuation with the thought of being in
love that we sometimes get caught up in as humans.... Thats y its so hard to
fall in love the RIGHT way with a person, because we are so in LOVE with being
in LOVE and In love with the action and not the being when it comes down to
it!

Love, means too many things too list... All the
superficial things that EVERY ones knows! Love is definately unconditional,
special, sensual, joyful, exotic, shared, given, recieved, ignored, jealous,
happy, sad, relentless.... CRAZY etc etc etc!

~Written in 2006... and I still fully agree! MUST expound upon this however!

Sweet anticipation

Sweet anticipation and
warm appreciation
of
being with you make my
coldest nights warm
and burning with
desire
My lonliness... non exsistant
From thoughts and memories of
you
You are the one that satisfies me

Your mind
Your body
Your
spirit
Stimulate
My mind to open
Stimulate
My spirit to
induldge
Stimulate
My body to awaken

The membrance of your kiss...
like no other
Soft
Long
Tender
Tingling
Warm
Just subtle
thoughts of your caress fuel my untamed arousal reminding me that
Desire
drives me
my lusts shamelessly own me.

I`ve tasted the forbidden
fruits and
Suffer passion`s hungar
I thurst for indesgression and
am
overwhelmed by the
scent of sweet serenity`s mist
Emitted from the
beauty of love

Lonley days drenched with
nectar dripped from pure
indulgence...
I shun
Unavoidable nights extended by
extacy laced
solitude
I beg to cease
Restless and unnerved by my immoral cries
I
demand the drowning of
Lover`s woe and Sacrifice my purity
Unvieling and
mortalizing fantasies... of my anticipated acceptance of you

Copyright
©2001,2005

In the Grass

In the grass



The grass is forever entangled

With limbless
whispering creatures

Of the dark



Slithering…
sliding…

Closer… closer… closer…

At your side…

Learning
life from you…

Using his tools against you…



Living
vicariously through you



Thanking you…

Helping
you…

Smiling at you…

Laughing with you…



His skin
crawls underneath

In the shadows of you glow



Psss…
Pssssss… Psss



Flickering tongue red as blood with
deceit

Lifeless eyes green as money with envy

Your serpent prays
to his maker for your downfall



This particular creature plants
seeds of destruction

As landmines

And devours moments of
contentment

Filling them with dread and fear of consequence

Only
to slither away head high

Laying dormant until times of pure
pain

And genuine loss

They are seen but not heard until


exodus is presented



Keeping friends close
and

enemies closer is a task

when the Diablo in
disguise…

the wolf in sheep’s clothing

the snake in angels
gowns

are lurking



defend yourself

build inner
strength

stay educated



The grass is forever
entangled

with limbless whispering creatures

Of the
dark

Copyright ©2005

THINK IT... PLAN IT.. EMBRACE IT... CLAIM IT...

Our thoughts determine our destiny...
Food for thought...

You get
what you think about, whether you want it or not.

If you everyday
thoughts are consumed with all of the negative aspects of life, then you will
sow negative life! The "secret" is to negate those thoughts and get it
POSITIVE!!

Our thoughts determine our destiny...

Some say that
this idea is the secret to life! As human's we often want, but do not THINK
about placing ourselves on the next level. Instead we surround ourselves with
all the negative and bad ideas of our surroundings! In effect, these thoughts
hold us back!



If you want to better yourself THINK IT... PLAN
IT.. EMBRACE IT... CLAIM IT...

Example:

a.) I hate my body and
need to loose weight!

b.) However you never embrace your body as
beautify and pledge to do everything you can to make it a healthier place for
you soul to dwell!

a.) I need a new job!

b.) However you don't do
what it takes to learn the process, and make the connections you should to take
it to the next step!

a.) I hate the way my life is going!

b.)
However you never once thanked the lord for what he has given you and embraced
the blessings you have been given thus far!



We will never be
what we want if we do not embrace who we are! Life is mind over matter! We
attract negative because we WANT it there! Positive enters our live through
positive outlets! the only way to open those outlets is to make room and think
positive!

Personally, I AGREE! All these years I have been striving and
living in a manor that ATTRACTED certain aspects that were not appealing to the
way that I want to live my life! Now that I have opened my perspective and
become thankful for who I am... I have lived fairly drama free! I only want to
be successful.. Not in a Carnal way, but I such a manor that I can say that I am
happy.

Maybe

1. Maybe. . We were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right
one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be
grateful for that gift.



2. Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often
times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one
which has been opened for us.



3. Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it,
but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it
arrives.



4. Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.



5. Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past;
after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past
mistakes, failures and heartaches.



6. Maybe. .. . You should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to
go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to
do all the things you dream of, and want to do.



7. Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a
spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your
dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them
more.



8. Maybe. .. . The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and
swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best
conversation you've ever had.



9. Maybe. . You should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you
feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person,
too.



10. Maybe. . You should do something nice for someone every single day, even
if it is simply to leave them alone.



11. Maybe. . Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will
love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their
heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.



12. Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all
those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can
appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.



13. Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for
wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it
takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes
your heart smile.



14. Maybe. . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough
trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to
make you happy



15. Maybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when
you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when
you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

1st Entry...

I ALWAYS start my blogs with some of my favorite passages, poems, thoughts, etc. I consider it somewhat of a "Best of" kind of thing :)

So bare with me... Get to know me... and enjoy my favorite things... for now. Don't worry. I have TONS to say!